


The First Steps

by castiel_lightwood



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dancer AU, Dancer Castiel, Dancer Dean, M/M, contemporary dancers, destiel au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 20:04:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3949924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castiel_lightwood/pseuds/castiel_lightwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dancer!destiel au: the biggest competition of Dean's life is at the weekend but his partner for the duet is injured. He needs to find a new partner, and who better but his best friend Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Steps

It was the biggest competition of Dean’s life, the most important thing he’s ever done. It could make or break his career as a dancer.

He’d practiced for this for months - probably, if he thought about it, his whole life. He was ready, the nerves were there, but it was good for him, he knew that. He needed some nerves.  
He was ready. Just his luck that his partner for his duet had broken her ankle two days before.

Lisa’s face had been stained with tears when he went to visit her, partly from the pain in her ankle but mostly because she knew she was letting him down big time.  
He’d had to comfort her when he saw how upset and guilty she felt - they’d been dancing together since they were four years old and had always been there for each other. Dean wasn’t going to be a dick to her now because she’d had an injury.

All the same, he’d cried when he left the hospital, thinking that this was the end of his dancing future. No chance to get noticed by the representatives from the dance companies he so desperately wanted to get into. It looked like he was destined to work a long miserable life in his dad’s garage for all eternity.  
His tears meant that he didn’t notice the boy sat on the steps outside the hospital until he ran in front of him.

“Dean?”

He looked up with teary eyes to meet a pair of bright blue ones. Cas. Of course it was Cas.

“Lisa, is she..?” He trailed off as he noted the tears streaming down Dean’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Dean.”

Dean sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. “Yeah, well nothing I can do now…” his lip started trembling again.

“Hey, come on, let’s go and get something to cheer you up,” Cas took hold of his arm reassuring.

Dean sniffed again. “Don’t know what can do that.”

“C'mon, let’s go get coffee. Or one of those fruit teas you like.”

That startled a quiet laugh out of him. Cas was his best friend, he knew all of Dean’s little quirks. Maybe Cas could make him feel slightly better.

They went to one of the coffee shops just round the corner from the dance studio - it was one of Dean’s favourites because they didn’t look down at him when he asked for super healthy things. He had to stay healthy, otherwise he’d never become a professional dancer, dance companies expected both a good body physique as well as incredible skill at dancing. Dean didn’t like that it was like that, but there was nothing he could do - he had to play by their rules.

Cas wasn’t as bad as he was about his healthiness - dance wasn’t his end game, he just happened to be incredibly good at it. Must be nice, Dean thought, to have a nice, comfortable rich career to fall back on. Cas was going to be a doctor - he’d talked about doing physiotherapist for dancers for a while, but his parents wanted him to be a surgeon. Even though Cas wasn’t too keen, it was still better than being a mechanic.

Cas bringing him his fruit tea stirred him from his thoughts. He couldn’t think badly of Cas, it wasn’t Cas’s fault that Dean was academically terrible. Dance was all he had. And he might lose that.

Cas stirred milk into his coffee. He shrugged at Dean’s questioning stare. “One coffee isn’t going to kill me,” he explained calmly.

Dean nodded, not really caring anymore.

Cas frowned. “Have you spoken to Miss Harvelle?”

Dean sighed, staring gloomily at the wisps of steam coming off his tea. “Yeah.”

“And?”

“She says I can’t do it without a partner - the duet is an important part of the competition.” He rubbed his eyes with his hand. “But I can’t do it without Lisa, so -” He didn’t need to spell it out for Cas. It was obvious - it was over for him.

“So that’s it? You’re out?” Cas asked gently.

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah. Unless I can find a new partner, which isn’t going to happen. No one knows the steps, I don’t have time to teach someone - and besides, none of the girls are as good as Lisa, she’s the best by far -” He broke off, noting Cas’s expression. “You okay?”

“Does it have to be a girl?” Cas asked.

Dean laughed. “You think I should do a duet with a guy instead - oh.” His eyes widened. “Oh!”

Cas stared back, eyes also widening with confusion. “Dean?”

“You could do it! You’ve seen us practise enough times, it won’t take you that long to pick it up - you’re an amazing dancer - and I think we could rework it quite easily -”

“Hey, hey, slow down!” Cas held his hands out to stop Dean’s words. “You want me to do it? Perform in a competition with you?”

“Why not?” Dean spread his arms. “What do we have to lose?”

“Dean,” Cas bit his lip. “There’s a reason Miss Harvelle didn’t enter me on my own. I’m not good enough.”

“She didn’t enter you because all you talk about is becoming a doctor! If you’d shown an interest, I’m sure she would have entered you!”

Cas shook his head.

“Cas,” Dean’s voice turned soft. “You are good enough. And anyway, surely the least we can do is try this. Please?”

Cas hesitated. He knew he wasn’t good enough to dance in this competition, no matter what Dean said. But then he wouldn’t be dancing for himself, it would be for Dean. And he wanted to help his best friend. Cas looked up. “Alright. We can try.”

-

Their dance teacher Ellen Harvelle nearly cried with relief when they told her their plan - Dean's talent was too outstanding for him to miss out on a bright dancing career just because his partner was injured. But it did mean a lot of work.

"You boys are going to have to work on this mostly by yourselves, I have other lessons that are already paid for to do," she told them.

Dean nodded - that's what he'd expected. She did give them the small studio to work in though, and said it was off limits to anyone else - they wouldn't have to fight for space to rehearse in then.

It took them a while to get into it - although Cas has seen Dean and Lisa practice many times, he'd never actually danced it. And Lisa was physically very different to him. They had to rework more than Dean had anticipated, which made him nervous. What if he forgot under the influence of all that adrenaline and started doing the wrong thing? They managed to leave in the lifts - Cas wasn't much heavier than Lisa, and Dean was strong enough hold steady as Cas rolled over his back or as he pulled Cas off the floor into a high, explosive jump. He'd always been amazed at how perfectly Cas held himself in the air, and it certainly played to their advantage now.

-

On the morning of the competition both of them woke too early, feeling sick. Dean was worried about his future and Cas was terrified of letting Dean down.

Dean’s father never came to any of Dean’s dance competitions or shows - he didn’t think dance was something that a boy should do. Cas’s parents were both working - they hadn’t known Cas was performing until two days before so they hadn’t had time to get the day off work.

Ellen picked them both up at 6am - they had a couple of hours drive to the city where the competition was held, and they wanted to be there early in case Dean’s slot was moved forward or something else changed. Her daughter Jo was also in the car - she was a professional dancer in a top contemporary company, and seeing her dance once at school was the reason Dean had swapped from ballet classes to taking contemporary classes with Jo’s mother. He loved the expression of contemporary, how it was so much more free in movement and feeling than ballet had ever been. And besides, his dad would have pulled him out of ballet classes if he’d still been doing them when he became a teenager - boys shouldn’t do dance, but they should never do ballet.

Jo put on a CD of a new punk rock band she’d found and Cas and Dean laughed at Ellen’s disapproving expression. Jo held her hands out in defence. “I’ve been dancing to slow piano and violins all week - I need something different or I’ll go crazy.”

Ellen tried to remain disapproving but couldn’t because she was just too proud of her daughter. Every time she heard about Jo dancing, her heart skipped with happiness. It was possible to make a career out of dance.

Dean saw the pride on Ellen’s face as she glanced across at Jo and he wished fiercely that he could get her to look at him like that too. Ellen was the closest thing he’d had to a mother in recent years, and he loved Jo as a sister as much as he loved his real brother.

“Where do you boys want to go for breakfast?” Ellen asked them, looking at them in her rear view mirror.

The name of Dean’s favourite breakfast cafe was out of Cas’s mouth before Dean could even begin to say the word. He stared at Cas, mouth gaping like a fish, before laughing and repeating what Cas had said.

He was glad Cas was with him.

-

Both boys got increasingly quiet after stopping for breakfast - they’d both had muesli and yogurt with bananas, because they needed slow burn energy to carry them through the day. Ellen was going to keep a close eye on what Dean ate, because he couldn’t risk having an energy crash.

Jo took over driving so Ellen could talk to them properly about what was going to happen. Dean was dancing his solo piece in the morning, and then the duet was in the afternoon. She wanted Cas to make sure he didn’t warm up too soon because then he’d risk his muscles going cold again and cramping up.

They arrived at the competition centre and both Cas and Dean went pale. There were so many people, so many dancers. Dean felt like he was physically going to throw up - he wasn’t good enough for this.

Ellen was watching him closely. “Dean, listen to me.” His eyes met hers but he looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. “I wouldn’t have entered you for this if I didn’t think you were good enough. I wouldn’t enter you for something where all you’d get out of it was humiliation, okay?” He swallowed and nodded. Ellen nodded to a group of girls standing a little way off from where Jo was parking the car. “I’ve seen one of them dance before and she’s no way near as good as you. And Cas, I know I didn’t enter you, but you’ll be better than a lot of people here. I promise.”

Cas took a deep shaky breath. So that was why Ellen hadn’t entered him. His parents. Not because he wasn’t good enough. He felt annoyance and anger boiling. He wished his parents hadn’t been so against him entering this competition - because he was here now, and he’d be dancing in it anyway. He shook himself and forced the anger down. He was here for Dean, not himself.

Dean’s panic had dissipated and had been replaced by fierce determination. “Let’s go then.”

-

Cas and Dean went to the male changing rooms so that Cas could help Dean get ready. That was a definite advantage of having a male partner, Dean thought. Normally he and Lisa had to meet up once they were changed and help each other with makeup and finishing touches in front of the large mirrors outside the changing rooms.

Dean didn’t like wearing too much make up, but he knew it was necessary for the stage lighting and for the audience sat at the back. The audience. He swallowed. Don’t panic Dean, he told himself.

His fingers started shaking when he tried to put eye shadow and eyeliner on.

Cas, who had been watching him closely while filling the nervous atmosphere with quiet mindless chatter, leant forward and took hold of Dean’s wrist gently. “Hey, you’re going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Dean nodded wordlessly but his hands didn’t stop shaking.

Cas held his hands out. “Let me do it for you?”

Dean stared for a minute before handing over the eye shadow and the brush.

“Close your eyes, Dean.” Cas murmured. Dean let himself be lulled by the soft murmur of Cas’s voice as he felt the soft brush sweep across his eyelids. He didn’t know what Cas was saying, but it calmed him.

“There,” Cas said softly, pulling back. “I can do your eyeliner too if you need me to, but I don’t want to stab you in the eye.“

Dean shook his head. He was calmer now, his hands were shaking much less. “Thanks Cas.”

“No problem.” Cas grinned. “Gotta make sure you look pretty.”

Dean rolled his eyes before putting on his eyeliner. He studied himself in the mirror. He didn’t understand how people saw make up as feminising. Sure, if you wore it that way it could be, but it was just another part of his costume. Part of the mask he created round himself before going on stage. And besides, all he’d done was accentuate his features, which were definitely not feminine. He didn’t understand people’s problems with boys wearing makeup.

Cas passed him his warm ups - thigh high leg warmers and sweatpants and his dancing hoodie that showed by its logo that he was from Ellen Harvelle’s School of Contemporary Dance. Dean pulled them on while Cas packed up their makeup - he’d need it too later - and then they both left to find Ellen and Jo.

-

The morning passed in something of a blur for Dean; he warmed up with Ellen, stretching, practising his steps, walking through his solos to make sure he was completely secure in them. Jo brought him water and energy tablets to stop him from crashing during his warm up period. She and Cas stayed for a bit and then Ellen realised that having lots of people around was stressing Dean out so she sent them into the theatre to watch some of the other contestants perform. Dean grabbed Cas’s wrist before he left. “You’ll come back, won’t you? Come to the wings when I’m onstage?” Cas nodded and hugged him before going into the theatre with Jo.

Jo walked Cas back to Dean and Ellen so that he could meet up with them before Dean went onstage. Jo hugged Dean and wished him good luck before returning to her seat in the theatre. As neither John or Sam had come, she’d agreed to sit in the audience so that Dean would have someone watching that he knew. She knew from experience that it was hugely important to dancer’s confidence.

Dean had stripped off all his warm up layers by the time they got to the stage door so he was in his costume of loose black dance pants and a long sleeved black cotton top. It was simple, but that was the point. They didn’t want anything to distract from Dean’s movements.

Cas and Ellen both hugged him before he went on, careful not to smudge his makeup.

“Show them what you can do,” Ellen whispered. “You’re incredible, Dean. Go show them.”

He stared up at her, and at that moment his name was called. She saw a moment of panic in his eyes but Cas squeezed his hand reassuringly. His panic was replaced by a fierce determination and he nodded to Ellen before running on stage to take his starting position.

Cas had always been amazed at how Dean and the music became one, how he fitted his movements so perfectly to every single beat, every single note. How the rise and fall of the melody matched Dean’s rise and fall, even if it was as subtle as the undulation of his feet while he was on demi-pointe. He turned to Ellen and realised she had tears in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. She smiled and hugged him back tightly.

Dean’s final jump was landed perfectly and as the lights fell there was tremendous applause. The lights rose again and he took a bow, grinning, before running offstage into Cas and Ellen’s waiting arms. He hugged Ellen first who now had tears streaming down her cheeks and then turned to Cas who he lifted off the floor in his exhilaration.

Cas gasped out a laugh. “Don’t strain something,” he whispered, conscious that they needed to stay quiet in the wings.

Dean grinned and carried Cas out of the door while Ellen rolled her eyes at them. He only put Cas down when Jo came running towards him and hugged him, also with tears in her eyes. She kissed his cheek. “So gorgeous, Dean. So absolutely stunning.”

He grinned. “Thanks. It felt so amazing, the audience, the music –” they could all see him buzzing.

Ellen passed him his warm ups to put on again. “Don’t want you seizing up.”

He nodded and pulled them on. They decided then to go and find something for lunch – the food inside the theatre itself was always ridiculously expensive but Ellen knew several good cafes down the street. Dean didn’t bother taking his makeup or warm ups off – this city was used to the one weekend a year when dance took over and no one batted an eye at stage makeup or dance costumes anymore.

After lunch they went back so that they could get ready for the duet. They got changed into their costumes, which were very similar to what Dean had worn that morning but they were in white. Dean had always been jealous of girls and the variety and choice in their costumes, while all boys had to wear were leggings and tops. Not that he wanted to wear a tutu, but he just wished companies put as much effort into male costumes as they did into female ones.

Dean grinned. “Still find it a shock?”

“A bit,” Cas admitted. “You’re used to it now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I don’t have a problem with it anyway.”

“No, me neither.” Cas studied his face again. “It’s just weird seeing yourself as someone else, you know?”

Dean shrugged. “I like that. Being someone else, its why I dance really.”

Cas considered that and smiled. “Yeah I guess I feel the same.” Dean smiled back and then they went to find Ellen and Jo again.

Jo made sure that Dean was still warmed up from earlier and helped him stretch anything that had tightened up while Ellen concentrated on Cas. Even though this was Dean’s competition, Cas’s ability to support him in the duet was extremely important. Which meant he needed to be warmed up and stretched as well as Dean was.

Dean’s solo had been powerful and fast with sharp pauses to show his dynamic performance ability and his precision. But their duet was much more lyrical and slower – it was still powerful, but Ellen had wanted it to seem effortless and transfixing for the audience in a calming and quiet way. She’d wanted the judges and dance company scouts to see different sides of Dean’s dancing, to show how versatile he was.

They found a small empty space in the main lobby and started walking through it, hyperaware of everyone watching them. Ellen had wanted to take them somewhere more private, but there was simply no room.

Jo brought them water. “How are we feeling?” she asked.

Cas bit his lip. “Nervous.”

Dean nodded in agreement. He’d already been on the stage once so his nerves weren’t as bad as Cas’s, but he still felt like butterflies were trying to break out of his chest.

Jo smiled encouragingly. “You can only do your best. If you dance it as well as I’ve seen you do it, you’ll blow them away. Promise.”

Dean hugged her. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She looked at Cas and held her arms for him. “Cas?”

Ellen joined them then to complete their group hug. “Good luck boys,” she murmured. “You’re going to be fine.”

Jo went into the audience again; she didn’t like the idea of her mum alone in the wings while her two students were on stage, but it was more important for Cas and Dean to have someone in the audience.

Cas was getting breathless with nerves when they stepped into the wings again. Dean caught his shoulders, catching his gaze at the same time. “Cas?”

His breathing sped up. “Dean, I can’t –”

“Hey – hey!” He shook Cas gently. “It’s going to be fine, okay? And even if it isn’t, I won’t blame you for it. No one will. Remember, Jo said we could only do our best. Which is what we’re going to do. Our best. And your best is pretty damn incredible, Cas.”

Cas took a deep breath. Dean smiled encouragingly. “Okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks Dean.”

He hugged him. “No problem.” He glanced over at Ellen who was watching them, worried. He gave a thumbs up and a reassuring smile.

Dean heard his name for the second time that day and took hold of Cas’s hand and led him onto the stage in the blackout, passing Ellen so she could whisper “good luck” before taking their positions.

Once the music started, Cas forgot his nerves. He felt the music take over, the instinctive desire to follow it, to become part of it. But mostly he felt the connection to Dean.

The moves were no different to when they had practiced, and yet the dance was so different. He felt something - a connection, a bond almost, that tied them together. It persisted whether they were on opposite sides of the stage or whether they were touching as they held a balance or Dean lifted Cas. It was incredible. Cas had never felt more alive than in those three minutes on stage.

He was surprised when the music stopped and realised that they were in their finishing positions. He blinked as the lights came down and Dean had to pull him up so they could bow to their audience when they came up again because otherwise he would have stayed curled in his finishing position on the stage.

The applause from the audience nearly knocked him over. They bowed together and ran offstage into Ellen’s waiting embrace.

They were both all smiles for the rest of the day. Dean threw his arm around Cas’s shoulder as they went back to the changing room, laughing. Cas grinned at Dean’s happiness. He hadn’t screwed it up. They’d done it.

-

Dean had to be onstage for the competition results. The wings were so crowded with teachers that no one else was allowed there, so Cas joined Jo in the audience to watch the results ceremony. His stomach was churning with nerves again.

Jo squeezed his hand. “Even if he doesn’t win, that doesn’t mean it’s all over.”

Cas bit his lip. “I know, but he deserves to win, doesn’t he?”

Jo smiled. “He’s certainly one of the best of the ones I saw. And I’m not being biased.”

Cas swallowed and nodded. At that moment, the curtain rose to reveal all of the contestants and the judges. He found Dean within an instant, on the right side of the stage in a group of other boys his age. He wasn’t at the back of the stage as there were other boys, nearly men really, that had danced in a different category. Jo told Cas that many of them would be desperately trying to get into dance companies before it was too late for their careers.

The results for the youngest boys were announced first, and then the youngest girls. There were awards for first, second and third place for the younger dancers. However, when they got into the older categories, there were also awards for special commendation for dancers who hadn’t won first, second or third place but had danced exceptionally well.

By the time they got to Dean’s category, Cas felt sick. He could only wonder what Dean was feeling. From the audience, he couldn’t see Dean’s face very clearly, but he could tell that he was staring straight ahead, something Cas knew he did in stressful situations. Oh God, please let it be good news, Cas thought.

They announced the special commendations first; Cas saw Dean’s shoulders slump when his name wasn’t among the five or six names that were called.

Then: “Third place, Dean Winchester.”

Cas thought Dean had gone into shock. He hadn’t moved.

Jo pulled Cas to his feet and they both began clapping and cheering, which set the rest of the audience off.

That pulled Dean out of his shock. He looked around and then blushed as he stepped forward to collect his trophy from the judges. He shook hands with all three of them, grinning widely before returning to the group of boys he’d been stood with before. Several of them shook his hand and patted him on the back.

The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur and it wasn’t long before Cas was running downstairs, cutting in front of everyone else to get to Dean. He found him and Ellen stood in the corner of the auditorium hugging, Ellen with tears streaming down her cheeks. Dean saw Cas and pulled away and Cas caught him in a hug and lifted him off his feet, careful not to damage the trophy clasped in Dean’s hands.

“You did it!” Cas cried, grinning ecstatically. “You did it, congratulations!”

Dean laughed as Cas put him down and pulled him into a proper hug. “We did,” he murmured. “Thank you so much Cas, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You would have done just as well if it had been Lisa –”

Dean’s protest was cut off by another voice. “Excuse me, Dean Winchester?”

He pulled away from Cas. “Um, yes? Sir?”

It was a man wearing burgundy trousers and a blue shirt under a grey suit jacket. Dean wondered who this man was.

He held his hand out. “I’m Michael Milligan, I’m a representative from the Chicago Contemporary Dance Company.”

Cas thought Dean had gone into shock again. Then he blinked and took Michael’s hand and shook it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr Milligan.”

Michael smiled. “Please, Michael.”

“Right,” Dean smiled nervously. “Michael.”

“Well, first I should congratulate you on your dancing, which was completely stunning. I’ve never seen someone your age have such amazing musicality.”

Dean gulped. “Thank you. That means so much.”

“And secondly I should congratulate you on being placed third, the standard was incredibly high.”

Dean nodded. He felt so nervous, more nervous than before he’d danced. “Th-thank you.”

“And thirdly,” Michael pulled a small white card from his pocket. “I need to give you this.”

Dean took it numbly. He couldn’t read what it said, he was in such a state of shock.

“I’d be very interested in seeing more of your dancing, and possibly working with you in the future. I’m sure you’ll get plenty of offers from dance companies today after your incredible performances, but I thought it was worth asking you to consider us.”

“Mr Milligan,” Dean choked out. “Are you asking me to join your company?”

Michael smiled. “Precisely. Of course, you’ll need to talk to your parents and then there’s school and all sorts of things like that that I understand you’ll have to sort out, but the offer will remain for as long as you can dance so stunningly. I’ve got your details from the competition organisers already so I’ll be in touch, but I thought it would be useful for you to be able to get in touch with me too. If you have any questions.”

“Wow,” Dean whispered. “Thank you. I – I don’t know what to say.”

Michael grinned. “You don’t need to say anything, Dean. Your dancing said it all.” He held out his hand and Dean shook it again. “I’ll be in touch.”

He turned to leave and then he spotted Cas stood a little way off with Ellen and Jo. He beckoned Cas over, and once he was stood with Dean, Michael said “were you Dean’s partner in his duet?”

Cas swallowed. “Yes sir, I was.”

“This is Cas Novak,” Dean introduced him, unsure whether Michael knew his name or not.

Michael considered Cas. “I’m surprised you weren’t entered individually, Cas.”

Cas bit his lip. “My parents, they wouldn’t let me be entered. They don’t want me to be a dancer.”

“No?” Michael made a split second decision. He held out another business card to Cas. “Well, tell them that I, and many of the dance company representatives here think differently. You could have a very bright dancing career.”

Cas stared at him with wide eyes. Dean nudged him and Cas blushed before taking the card. “Thank you.” He stuttered out, blushing through all his stage makeup.

Michael smiled. “I’m afraid the competition organisers don’t have your details, a girl is listed as Dean’s partner...” he trailed off.

“Oh,” Dean jumped in, understanding. “My partner, Lisa, broke her ankle last week. Cas jumped in last minute.”

Michael seemed struck dumb. “You mean you only had a week to rehearse your duet?”

“Um, more like 2 days,” Cas replied.

Michael’s eyes widened. “Well in that case, I’m glad I’ve given you my card. That’s exceptional.”

Cas flushed. “I did it for Dean.”

Michael nodded understandingly. “Did you find it enjoyable? Most people would struggle to work under such pressurised conditions with someone they were so close to.”

Cas and Dean shared an uncomprehending look. “I don’t understand,” Dean said, frowning.

It was Michael’s turn to be perplexed. “I thought, I mean, you two are together, right?”

“Together?” They both echoed.

Michael laughed. “Have I missed out on some new term? As in, you’re dating?”

Cas’s mouth fell open. Dean spluttered, “um, no, we’re not, Cas is my best friend, but we’re not dating, its not like that –”

Michael had the decency to blush. “Oh god I’m so sorry! It was just, you had such chemistry onstage, I thought there was no way that it could be completely fabricated, there must be some true feelings behind it –” He broke off and cleared his throat. “I hope I haven’t put my foot in it and now you won’t consider our company. That was incredibly unprofessional of me, I’m sorry.”

Cas shook himself. “No please don’t apologise. Um, and I hope the offer is still open for me because I don’t think I’ll receive any others.”

Michael smiled, relieved. “Thank you. And I sincerely doubt that, Cas, your dancing was stunning.” He shook both their hands again. “I should let you two go so that other people can come and talk to you, I’m sure there’s a queue forming. Cas, if you can get your teacher to send your details onto me – she’ll know what to send – that would wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Cas said, letting go of Michael’s hand so that Dean could shake it. Michael grinned at them both and left after saying “I’ll be in touch soon.”

The two boys were left in shocked silence.

“Wow,” Cas said finally.

“Wow,” Dean echoed in agreement. Then he grinned and Cas thought his face was going to split open with happiness. “Chicago, Cas! We could go to Chicago! Together!”

Cas laughed at Dean’s enthusiasm as he hugged him. “I never expected that,” he admitted. He thought of something else he’d never expected and blushed.

Dean noticed his flushing cheeks and frowned before remembering. “Oh right. Yeah, that.” He cleared his throat. “Do you think it really looked like that?”

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter –”

“No, but it does,” Dean ran a hand through his hair. “Because if other people can see it, then I don’t know why we haven’t.”

“Dean?” Cas felt like he was going to faint. He loved Dean, he did, but he’d never expected Dean to love him back. They weren’t like that. Good things like that didn’t happen to him.

“Cas, I –” He broke off and bit his lip. Then it all came out in a rush. “I love you. I have for a long time. I just couldn’t do anything because I didn’t know if you felt the same or if there was even any chance that you were into guys, and then my dad wouldn’t like it, but if we went away then –”

Cas caught Dean’s arms to stop himself falling. “You mean that? You love me?”

Dean looked scared. “Yeah, I love you, Cas. More than anything.”

Cas’s mouth fell open in surprise. “I – I love you too.”

“You do?” Dean seemed as surprised as Cas was. “Really?”

Cas nodded. “I didn’t want to say anything and ruin our friendship.”

Dean stared at him and then laughed. Cas was confused. “What?”

“You mean we could have dated all this time, but we were both too scared to say anything?”

Cas smiled slightly. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Damn, we’re a pair of idiots aren’t we,” Dean shook his head. He looked round and realised that Jo and Ellen had left them and were stood some way off, purposefully not watching them. “Wait, did everyone know?”

Cas laughed. “I don’t know. It would have been nice if they’d told us.”

Dean grinned and gently pulled Cas towards him, and Cas fell happily into his embrace. Dean hesitated before kissing his cheek. Cas raised his eyebrows. “Seriously Winchester? That’s all I get?”

“Sorry,” Dean blushed and met Cas’s lips with his own. Cas felt such a beautiful sense of the world being right and perfect in that moment. He never wanted it to end.

-

After Dean had been approached by five other different dance companies and Cas by one (so Michael had been right about more than one thing), they finally managed to leave. Ellen took them all to get burgers from their favourite diner – because they deserved a treat after such a fantastically successful day. Dean rang Sam and told him the news and they had a quick celebration on the phone. Sam promised to tell their dad so that he’d get his pissed off mood out of the way by the time Dean got home. Sam also promised Dean that there was frozen yogurt in the fridge so they could celebrate. Dean laughed at that because his little brother knew him so well and promised to be home soon before ending the call and going back to Cas, Ellen and Jo.

They didn’t really make a big deal out of their new found mutual love for each other, but at some point Dean’s arm slipped round Cas’s waist, and they shuffled closer together on the bench in their booth, and Jo couldn’t stop grinning at the two of them, whether from how they were sitting or from their success that day. They didn’t really care. Everyone was so happy and they had good food and laughter at the end of a brilliant day. They couldn’t ask for more.

Ellen dropped Dean off at his home just before 10pm – Jo had to shake him awake because they’d both fallen asleep in the back, adorably with their heads leaning together. His movement woke Cas, who blinked at him sleepily and kissed his cheek before Dean got out of the car. Ellen helped Dean carry all his stuff to the front door and said hello to Sam who opened the door before hugging Dean and driving Cas home.

Dean expected the worst when he got home. Thank God he’d taken all his stage makeup off – his dad would have a heart attack otherwise.

“Dean?” John called him from the living room. He swallowed and went through.

“Sam says it went really well today?” He looked up as Dean hovered in the doorway.

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat. “I, uh, came third. And um,” his hand shook as he pulled out the six business cards in his pocket. “I got asked to consider joining these dance companies.”

John’s eyes widened. “How many?”

“Six,” Dean replied nervously.

John considered him. “You must be pretty good then.”

Dean nodded slightly. “Yeah. I mean, I think so.”

“And all these people do too? And the judges?”

“Yeah,” Dean was unsure where his dad was going. He hadn’t exploded yet, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. He was so nervous. He thought he’d run out of nerves, but apparently not.

“So...” John thought for a long moment. “It is a good career?”

“What?”

“Is it a good career? Money, chance to progress?”

“Um, I don’t know really.”

“But it would make you happy?”

Dean froze. John had never seemed to care about his happiness before. “Yeah. I’m never happier than when I dance.”

John nodded slowly. “Can I see the cards?”

Dean was terrified that his dad was going to tear them up. But he handed them over and John looked through them. “How will you choose which one to go to?”

Dean thought he’d just had a stroke. There was no way that his dad had just said that. “Sorry?”

“Well, how do you choose one from all these? They all look the same to me.”

“The guy from Chicago was really friendly,” Dean said, not mentioning the other reason for preferring Chicago over the others. His dad didn’t need to know that.

“Guy? So it’s not all women?”

“No, I think four of the representatives I spoke to were men.”

“Wow,” John whispered. He squinted at Dean. “So this is what you want?”

Dean shook his head. “When have you ever cared about that? You hate dance.”

“I don’t understand dance. And I suppose I’ve never tried to. But I don’t hate it.” He sighed. “Besides, I do care. I know you want to be a mechanic, Dean. That’s not you. And I don’t want you to miss out on something like this, something that you’ll enjoy, just because I don’t know anything about it.”

Dean stared at him. “You mean, you’ll let me?”

“Yeah. I will. Because I think it’s the best thing for you.” He gave Dean one of the most genuine smiles he’d ever given him. “You’re glowing, Dean, you know that? I’ve never seen you this happy. So go for it. And if it all goes wrong, then you can be a mechanic. Or whatever. It’s your life.”

Dean fought back tears. “Thanks dad,” he choked out.

John nodded. “Well if my boy’s gonna be famous I don’t want to be the one who held him back. I don’t know what I can do, but I want to support you in this.” He held out his hand for Dean to shake. They didn’t do hugs in the Winchester family so this was the most intimate John had ever been to Dean. He tried not to cry as he shook his dad’s hand and took back the business cards.

He ran upstairs and rang Cas.

“Dean?” Cas’s voice was sleepy.

“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry –”

“Nah, it’s okay. What is it?”

“Dad says I can do it.”

“Do what?”

“Join a dance company. I don’t have to be a mechanic!”

It took a moment for Cas’s brain to catch up. “Oh! Dean that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”

Dean grinned as he fell back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. “I thought he was going to be so mad and he wasn’t at all. He’s trying to be supportive for me now.”

“That’s such great news,” Cas yawned, but Dean could hear the genuine emotion behind his words.

“What about your parents?”

“They think Chicago is too far,” Cas admitted. “But then they wanted to send me to Harvard which is even further, so I’ll be able to argue them round I think.”

“Good,” Dean said sincerely. “Dad didn’t say anything against Chicago. So we can go together.”

“Really?” Cas breathed out.

“Yeah. Me and you, Cas. In a dance company. Can you believe it?”

Cas laughed. “Not at all. I swear all this is a dream. An incredible, too good to be true dream.”

“Well, it’s real.”

“All of it?” Cas asked quietly, and Dean knew what he was asking.

He replied equally quietly. “I love you Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean. God, I can’t believe I can finally say that.”

Dean grinned. “Me neither.”

“Hey Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“If we both go to Chicago, you’re gonna have to keep saying that to me.”

Dean laughed, he was so happy. “I’ll say it to you every day.”

“Mmm,” Cas said sleepily. “There’s something else we did earlier that you’ll have to do to me everyday too.”

“Of course,” Dean paused. “God, I wish I could kiss you right now.”

“Same,” Cas sighed sleepily. “Well, you can tomorrow.”

Dean grinned. “And the day after.”

Cas laughed. “And the day after that, and the day after that...” He trailed off, clearly exhausted.

“You need to sleep,” Dean told him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Cas yawned. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” Dean smiled. “Good night.”

“Night,” Cas replied before Dean finished the call.

There was a quiet knock at his door. Sam, with his mop of floppy brown hair and bright eyes, was carrying two bowls of frozen yogurt. “Okay, this stuff isn’t actually too bad.”

Dean grinned and sat up so Sam could join him on the bed. He ruffled his brother’s hair as he took his bowl. “Thanks Sam.”

“It’s okay,” Sam grinned around his spoon. “So you and Cas, huh?”

“Wait, were you eavesdropping?!” Dean nearly dropped his spoon in shock.

“I didn’t mean to! I just kinda heard it through the door.”

Dean grinned. “It’s okay. As long as dad doesn’t know.”

“So you two are? Like, together?”

“Yeah, I guess. But only from today.”

Sam grinned. “About time.”

“Seriously? Did everyone know except us?”

Sam nodded as he swallowed some of his frozen yogurt. “Pretty much, yeah. You two were so obvious.”

“Weird,” Dean shook his head. “I never saw it.”

Sam shrugged. “Well, you’re together now and that’s all that matters.”

Dean considered that and smiled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that.”

“So you’re going to some fancy dance company somewhere?” Sam changed the subject.

“Yup,” Dean replied.

“Are you going to be famous?”

“What? No! It’s not really like that.”

“Oh,” Sam frowned. “But will I get to watch you now?”

“Hopefully,” Dean swallowed. “Dad seems okay with it.”

“Seriously? He didn’t kick up a huge fuss?”

Dean shook his head. “Nope, he was actually really, um, supportive, I guess.”

“Wow,” Sam was quiet for a moment.

Dean nudged him with his foot. “Maybe you’ll be allowed to go to Stanford now.”

Sam flushed. “Dean, I can’t just go to Stanford. I have to pass tests and interviews and everything –”

“Well, at least dad will let you apply to all that. Going to college is much less controversial than being a dancer.”

“Hmmm,” Sam considered that and then nodded in agreement. “I guess. Thanks, then.”

“What for?”

“Well, if you hadn’t been hell bent on being a dancer and doing this competition, then both of us might have ended up working in the garage. But now you can be dancer and I can go to college,” Sam grinned.

Dean hugged his brother tightly. “We’re gonna be okay, aren’t we?” Sam asked him.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, Sammy, I think we are.”

-

Twenty years later:

It was so strange to be back at the theatre that had started it all, stand in the auditorium where Michael Milligan had first met him and Cas, the place where their careers in the Chicago Contemporary Dance Company had started. Dean smiled, remembering how he and Cas finished the school year so that Cas could get his qualifications for studying medicine if dancing didn’t work out, and then had left for Chicago. It had been incredible. They’d shared a flat with other dancers in the company for about two years until they earned enough between them to buy a small flat just for the two of them. Cas told him almost every day how incredible it was that they got paid to do something that they enjoyed so much. Dean agreed with him. Every day was like living in a dream.

They’d toured the country putting on shows and performances, Dean’s favourite being a contemporary version of Romeo and Juliet. It had won the company huge acclaim in dance circles, and eventually, that had filtered into the general public too. Those three years where they toured Romeo and Juliet had to be the best of Dean’s life. It was also the first show his dad had been able to watch because they went close enough to Dean’s hometown that he could drive to watch his son perform. John had actually embraced him afterwards, although he’d tried to make it as manly as possible by slapping him on the back.

Sam had seen many of Dean’s shows, begging Dean to get the company to visit Stanford University at some point so that he wouldn’t have to travel at all, and so that he could show off his big, but now shorter, brother. Dean always smiled when Sam said that, but the reality was he didn’t have that much control over the company. He was just one of the dancers.

In the twelve years they were with the Chicago company, Cas and Dean both learnt so much. How to choreograph, both group and solo dances, how to explain steps to new company members, how to look after new nervous dancers and how to deal with the older ones who thought they knew best because they’d been there longest.

So when they retired from the company after twelve years, it made sense to them to set up their own dance school. The question they struggled with was where – their hometown? But Ellen was still teaching there, now with the help of Jo, and they didn’t want to take any students away from her, not when she’d got them to where they were.

Which was why, for the first two years, they travelled around the country setting up classes and workshops wherever people would have them; in schools, in village halls and in leisure centres. Anywhere that they could get kids to spend a couple of hours dancing. News got out between different schools and suddenly they were getting rung up and asked if they would come and do week long dance courses in schools. Those were the best times of teaching on the road, the ones where they got to see the kids grow and develop, even if it was only over a week.

But eventually, they wanted to settle down. And during their time on the road, they’d found the perfect spot. It was a small town with a village hall and lots of gorgeous little houses. But it was close to a large city, where they knew there were lots of problems with teenage crime and school drop outs, not to mention the problems that the adults created. It made sense to Cas and Dean to go there. Dance had given them both a better life, especially Dean; it had meant that he didn’t have to work in a low paid, unfulfilling job in his dad’s garage. So if they could help these kids, even by providing a distraction to their problems for an hour or so a week, they would do it.

The first few sessions they had were disastrous. They had lots of boys turning up just to mock them for dancing, and of course, for being gay. They’d thought that homophobia had stopped, but clearly not in that city. After those sessions Cas and Dean had held each other close in bed, wondering if they were doing the right thing or whether they should move.

But thankfully, the disruptive ones left once they realised that Cas and Dean wouldn’t rise to their provocations, and once they realised that it was a complete waste of their time. Once they left, they actually got some enthusiastic students. It started small, maybe four or five, but they told their friends how good it was and soon they’d had a dance school of about thirty students.

They took their students to dance competitions for groups and did well in the new school sections, considering that many of them had been dancing for less than a year. It gave them purpose to work harder, to do better, and Dean saw a similar fire in many of their eyes that he knew he’d had at their age. According to their parents, their school grades were also improving, due to greater confidence and purpose and also the fact that they were doing regular physical exercise; many of them did at least two classes a week.

Their dance school had been running for five years, and now Dean was back on the side of the stage that had ultimately made it possible. How strange.

But how strange that he wasn’t dancing.

Cas’s arm was wrapped round his waist, as if to stop him from stepping out onto the stage by accident. Because this wasn’t his dance.

Charlie had been such a shy girl when she’d first come to Cas and Dean that they were both surprised she’d managed to grow into such a confident dancer. She was now a fiery sixteen year old who was probably better than either of them had ever been at that age. Which was why they had suggested to her and her mother that a career in dance was a serious possibility.

“It’ll mean a lot of hard work,” Cas had told her. “But you’re working so hard at the moment, and you’ve got such an incredible natural talent.”

Charlie had looked between him and Dean. “What if it doesn’t work out?”

Dean had smiled softly. “Then it doesn’t work out. Or we enter you next year. And the year after. If it’s what you really want to do.”

She’d nodded seriously. The same nod she’d given them before stepping out onstage. The fire in her eyes was unmissable. She wanted this. And she danced like she wanted it.

Dean squeezed Cas’s hand as she landed a jump perfectly. They’d taken a few risks in the choreography, pushing her to her absolute limit. But she was rising to the challenge beautifully.

The applause was deafening. Dean felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders as he heard that. Cas kissed his cheek, which he was surprised to realise were streaked with tears. When had he started crying? He suddenly realised how Ellen must have felt watching him dance all those years ago.

Charlie’s mother met them outside the stage door, also crying. Charlie laughed at them both before hugging her mother, and then Dean and finally Cas, who was grinning. He was so proud of her, and he knew Dean was too.

Charlie was the first of their students to get into a dance company, in her case the New York Contemporary Company. But she wasn’t the last. In the following ten years, Cas and Dean had over twenty of their students get into various companies and into various careers. They were honoured by the city for the work they’d done with young people and were allowed to open a proper dance studio in the city.

Every night they fell into bed completely exhausted, but happy. One night, Cas snuggled closer to Dean, resting his head on his chest. “We did good didn’t we?” He asked.

Dean intertwined their hands together, looking for a moment at the matching rings on their hands. “Yeah,” he smiled. “We’ve done amazingly.”

Cas kissed his husband and dance partner, remembering the first time they’d kissed, and how right it had felt. It had never stopped feeling that right, that good. Not even after nearly thirty years together.

“Hey Cas?” Dean whispered.

“Yeah?” He whispered back.

“I love you,” Dean murmured.

Cas smiled. That would never fail to make him smile or make his heart flutter with happiness. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! this was only meant to be a short fic and then it got a bit out of hand. hope you enjoyed it! <3


End file.
